Learning to drive means communicating well

You will need to get along well with your parent/supervisor. This isn't just because it's a nice thing – it's for the sake of learning to drive safely. Take control by being calm, positive and assertive.

Conflict and learning don't mix

To become a good driver you need to learn at your optimum, or close to it. That can't be done if there's conflict happening with your parent/supervisor.

It's also not particularly safe if a learner and parent/supervisor don't fully trust each other. But conflict is not uncommon in this situation, especially if you are being supervised by a parent or older brother or sister. You're not alone.

Get hold of problems and be assertive

If tension is brewing in the car, take responsibility for working it out. At the very least, recognise if your parent/supervisor is trying to deal with it and help out.

This is not the time to have your way or to be right about something. On the other hand, it's also not the time to be submissive. Because learning to drive is a personal process, you can't afford to be trying endlessly to do something that doesn't work for you.

Be calm and positive, even if you're the only one doing it

Wherever the tension is coming from, the first thing to do is stay calm. If you do nothing else, that will make a huge difference.

After that it comes down to talking to your parent/supervisor in a positive way. Be determined about this, because bigger things are at stake: your ability to learn and your safety while you learn.

If you don't feel able to tackle big issues directly while driving, it's probably wise not to try. Defuse a ticking bomb by being calm and positive. Then you can deal with it, in civilised fashion, out of the car.

There's help around for the hard stuff

A lot of arguments and tension come from bigger issues unrelated to driving, but they pop up in the car because driving can be stressful. The links below may help you to work things out if the issues seem too tough:

Canaries on a branch, talking

 

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